Hey hey! Happy Wednesday! I hope your week is going well! I’m coming at you a bit later than usual today, but I’ve got a meaningful post coming at you!
A little bit ago, while I was getting my coffee at Dunkin’, an employee looked at me with a smile and said “You are always so nice and pleasant”. I thought that was so nice of him to say to me, because every day I try my best to be kind, pleasant, and just all around nice to everyone. I stand firm in believing that you should be kind to everyone, even when the other person doesn’t “deserve” it. What I mean is, I make it my number one goal of everyday to be kind and loving to someone even if they haven’t shown me kindness or love in return. I was talking to Michael about this also, and even though we have different opinions about this, I don’t ever believe in resorting to spite or hate just because the person has shown that to you. I mean sure, I am not perfect and I definitely have my moments, but most of the time I really try to show kindness to everyone, even if they have been anything but kind to me in the first place.
I’ve shared a blog post before about my experience with bullying and self image, but I wanted to dive deeper into it today since it has been on my mind lately.
When I was younger, I was bullied to the point where I would cry myself into panic and feel like I wasn’t good enough to be me. There were so many instances that come to mind, but two girls in particular outshine the rest and still make me feel uneasy whenever I think about what happened.
I can remember one girl told me one day in class that I was a “perfect Barbie doll”, and that she “hates Barbie dolls”. She then came into class a couple days later with a Barbie head stuck to the top of her pencil, painted blue with the eyes X’ed out. I was pretty creeped out at that point, but continued to give this girl the same kindness that I had shown her since the first day of class, which was the day I sat next to her, smiled at her, and introduced myself to her. This is the same girl who cut my hair in the middle of class one day. I had no idea, but found out about it later on when someone told me about how she was bragging about it. I felt humiliated because in my mind I thought I had been nothing but kind to this girl, so why in the world was she being so unkind to me?
Another time, one girl spit on my leg in school(wearing uniforms, meaning my leg was exposed) because apparently I “asked” for it by simply breathing. This is the same girl who took the time to write me a super long letter explaining how disgusting and ugly I was, how my hair looked like I had gotten electrocuted since it was so curly. I can still remember the day I gripped that (multiple page, front and back) hand written letter with both of my hands, as I was shaking, crying, and hunched over to my knees because my stomach hurt so bad due to the hurt in the middle of the school hallway. Thank God everyone was in class and I was the only person in the hallway at that point. Once again, I felt humiliated, and didn’t understand why this was happening to me.
I couldn’t understand WHAT I did to hurt these girls so much to make them (amongst others, mind you) treat me so badly, so harsh, and so unkind. I felt like I must have done something to them to make them behave this way because why would anyone ever give someone so much hate? I also couldn’t understand WHY these girls were so mean to me. Truly. I couldn’t understand why someone would spend so much of their time being so mean to someone, which just so happened to be me.
My Mom always taught me to be kind to others, even if they aren’t kind to you. She would tell me that the ones who aren’t kind are usually the ones who need it the most, and even though it hurts when they are mean to you, respond by showing them love and kindness back. You know that saying “keep your friends close, but your enemies closer”?! Yeah, well I still can’t say that I believe in keeping your enemies “close”, but I do believe in being kind to unkind people. It used to not make any sense to me because I would take everything so personally and think that I was the one that did something wrong in order for them to treat me so badly, but I think since I grew up a little (wait what? No I didn’t. Haha), I began to realize it has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with that person.
Hurt people, hurt people. You get that? If someone is hurting, they hurt other people. They certainly do not not want someone to be happy and on cloud nine. This is something I still struggle with understanding, because when I am hurting I truly do not want anyone else to feel the pain of hurt, but it does make sense. It goes hand in hand with the saying “misery loves company”. If someone is miserable, it helps to have someone else miserable with you and then somehow your spirits are lifted and happy when that other person is miserable.
Just because those girls were being so so mean to me, it didn’t mean that I had done anything wrong. Maybe they were hurting, and just chose to make me hurt in the process of them healing. But never once did I resort to being unkind, spiteful, or untrue to who I was. I may have cried enough to fill buckets because my heart hurt, but I kept showing kindness.
My point is, I am huge on showing kindness. When people are mean to me, as much as it hurts and breaks my heart, I cannot do as they do and resort to being mean back to them. Being kind is what my heart says to do.
Kindness is magic. Choose kindness.
What are your thoughts on this?
Do you try to be kind even when a person isn’t showing you kindness?