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Thursday Thoughts 6/27/19

Hey girl hey! Happy Thursday to you! I can’t believe it has been a whole week since I have published a blog post. To be completely honest with you, I started writing a few times and ended up deleting the whole page and just didn’t feel like it. So, here I am. After a week hiatus from the blog and I can’t really tell you I have been doing anything fun other than the normal happenings around here. Pretty boring if you ask me…but, in normal Thursday fashion, I’m here to spill some Thursday Thoughts with you because I feel like it’s a great way to get back into the swing of things.

I think I am finally feeling a little better today, not that I have been feeling badly or anything this week. The thing is, sometimes (if you’ve been reading for a while, you probably already know I get like this at times) I feel like I’m not enough and that just gets me all anxious inside which causes me to stress out about that, and about anything and everything I could possibly stress out about. Anxiety, stress, and anything along those lines is never a fun path to go down and even though I do have things that help me walk in the other direction on that path, it can be a little hard to get to that point. You get what I mean? I know, not so pretty or glamorous or anything, but I’m just being real, because that’s all I can be, and when you come on over to my little space on the internet real is all you are going to get from me. Without getting too deep into it, sometimes I get a little ‘too sensitive’ or ‘too emotional’ (or so I am told, which I don’t think that is a bad thing, but others think differently) when things are pointed out to me, and sometimes my mind takes that conversation and dwells on the things that were said to me/about me at that time. For example, you know when you are talking with someone you love and they start pointing out things to you that you don’t really like about yourself in the first place, or things that you don’t really like about your life right now and you are trying to change them or something? If you don’t know that feeling, then I am really happy for you because that probably means you are super strong and confident in yourself as a whole, but for me that is not really the case. I take those things to heart and then I guess I realize that I am ‘not enough’ and focus on the things that I am not, and that can just get a little messy. HOWEVER, I am instead replacing those thoughts in my mind with who God says I am. Because God says that I am chosen. He says that I am KNOWN, that I am WANTED, and that I am most of all LOVED. And maybe you need to hear that too, because I know I always need (and appreciate) that reminder. So, in this season of life that I am in, I need to remember to find my worth in Him and not in other things (social media, a blog, a job, your status, etc.). So, that’s a little bit about where my head is at right now.

I didn’t really mean at all to get all deep on here first thing, but that’s what came to me right when I started writing and I just wanted to share my heart with you today. Because I know when others share their hearts, it hits me and makes me realize that I am not alone and maybe you can feel like that today too. It’s nice to know that you aren’t the only one going through things, because especially in a time like today when everything is being magnified on social media, people’s lives can be portrayed as perfect and it can look like the ride they are on is super smooth. That isn’t real, people. And whenever you get caught up in that, I will happily bring you back to reality to tell you that every one has battles. Every one has bumps in their road.

We lost power on Tuesday night…and it just so happened to be right after we were turning the tv off to get to bed (at the ‘late’ hour of 9:30…hahaha), which was random because it wasn’t storming here or anything other than rain. I had hoped that it would turn back on shortly after losing it, but after 3 hours of no power I decided to check my phone (which had 20% battery at that point, the horror) to see what was going on, the website said the power would be restored at 2:15am. Okay, so it was a little after 12am at that point, so only 2 hours to go didn’t seem so bad. 2:15 came and the power was still not on. At that point it was real sticky and just hot in our apartment, and I had a nice headache going on too so I just couldn’t wait to hear that beeping sound of all of our electricity going back on including our air condition, ceiling fans, and fan for noise (because we are those people who needs a loud fan to sleep, if you didn’t already know). But, unfortunately at 2:15 the website changed the time to 4:15am…and that’s when I was thinking that it would probably be a very long time before it actually turned back on because if they keep pushing it two hours every time it hits that second hour, it is just going to keep bumping up to another two hours. And just like before, at 4:15am it said it was expected to be restored at 6:15am…booo! At that point, Michael was getting out of bed to get to the gym before work, and so I just continued to lay in the dark silence. Luckily he did get some sleep, but I know it definitely wasn’t the best sleep, which I did feel badly about since he had to go to work. Finally at 5:30 I heard that wonderful beeping of electricity turning back on and I jumped straight out of bed, did a little shimmy shake, screamed Hallelujah! Praise Jesus!, called Michael to tell him the good news, and got myself out of bed. I realized I didn’t sleep a wink of sleep, at all, so I really don’t know where all of my energy came from at 5:30 but I was just tired of laying in bed that the thought of sleep was agonizing to me at that point. So I got up, got my workout on for two hours, and proceeded to chug my coffee in two seconds before realizing I was in fact verrrrry tired and went to just lay down before I had to head out for a hair appointment.

I am so thankful I didn’t have to be at work or have any ‘real’ responsibilities other than a hair appointment and my normal chores & stuff yesterday because if I had to actually ‘human’ after zero sleep I probably would have just fallen over. How do people do it?! I don’t know. But the coffee did help, and I kept getting bursts of energy throughout the day, but I did take a half hour nap in the afternoon that actually made me feel even worse than before I had napped. I hate when that happens, which is why I hardly ever nap. I don’t know if it is because I really just needed to nap way longer than a half hour, but I felt pretty lousy. However, it didn’t take me long to snap out of it and get back my energy.

During that night of no sleep, I had an earache. Like it was an unbearable sharp pain that kept coming and going, which I’ve only ever experienced as an adult once before. And that one time I had my Dad bring me to the emergency room because it hurt so badly and I thought I was dying (per usual). The weird thing is, when I got up yesterday after that long night my ear didn’t hurt or anything, so I just went on with my day as usual. But then around 6pm last night that earache came back. I took some Tylenol and put a warm towel on my ear (fresh out of the dryer, the best!) and just kind of hoped and prayed that it would go away. The good news is that it isn’t bad this morning, but at times I do feel that pain in my ear and it is somewhat blocked. I really don’t want to go to the doctor for an earache, but I do know that if it gets worse or doesn’t go away I am going to have to because ear infections aren’t something to ignore. I don’t know how I had so many ear infections as a child?! Like how did I handle that?! Are earaches worse as an adult? (Im serious.)

Let’s talk the Bachelorette for one hot second, pretty please. CAN YOU BELIEVE SHE KEPT LUKE P. AROUND? Because girl, I cannot. I don’t really know what it is with him, but I am sticking to my gut and saying that the producers of the show told Hannah to keep him around and I am now thinking that the producers of the show make up some of the story line because I mean whaaaaaaat is going on?! With every word that comes out of his mouth he digs himself into a deeper and deeper hole. But then for ONE SECOND (okay, a half second) he seems like he could be a good guy and I feel bad for him, and then that one hot second is over and I am back to asking if he is being real?! In my opinion, and probably yours too, he has a lot of growing up to do and I really hope that he is watching the show back at it airs and realizing what a total fool (I could totally use another word, but I won’t) he is being and how horrendous he is with words. I think Hannah is a little too mature for him, but then she does things like say “I just don’t know” to him and then keeps him around, which makes her look immature, ahhh!! It’s just such a train wreck of a show and it makes me want to stop watching…but of course I continue to watch. Because let’s be real, I love the drama.

It was a beautiful day yesterday with sunshine and warmth! I spent some time outside with my nephews at my parent’s house in the afternoon, and even though I felt like I was walking on a cloud because I was tired, it was so good. Today is another sunshiny day and I think it is actually going to be a bit warmer than yesterday too (even though yesterday was pretty warm), so I am sure I’ll get some more play time outside with my boos. After having rain and gloomy weather a couple days ago, this sunshine is greatly welcomed!

Alrighty friends, I think that is enough for today. I have a blog post coming at you with some answers to questions that have been asked over on my Instagram. Feel free to send me any questions you want me to answer and I’ll write a blog post answering them!

Have a magnificent day! XOXO

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